Sunday, May 1, 2011

Waiting

I've known amazing people throughout my life. I'm deeply indebted to them.

I don't talk to them nearly as much as I should. With one of my best friends, I only speak with him twice, maybe three, sometimes four times a year. Facebook keeps me well enough updated with how they're doing.

Today, one of the people I look up to finished a third run of her play. I went to its first reading and saw it performed twice. It got better each time. She said this was the best iteration. I don't doubt her. Her work is unbelievable. It's hard for me to remember that she's younger than me. She inspires me.

One of my ex-girlfriends finished a project that Perez Hilton used for a piece on the royal wedding. I've always thought the world of her and admired her ability.

One of my best friends is ministering to the communities in Staten Island.

Another one will be an attorney in the Manhattan D.A.'s office.

A few years ago a friend I served in Graduate Christian Fellowship started up a non-profit to combat sex trafficking. The organization has grown with more and more volunteers. Every time I see them in the news, they're taking on more projects and doing more good.

And where to begin with my girlfriend? I love her spirit. The way her eyes shine when she speaks of doing Chinese medicine and the way that she understands the methodology captivates me. It's the light of a passionate woman. She goes extra miles, clocks in extra time, not to gain some edge over competitors but out of a desire to extravagantly over-deliver on her future product. Who wouldn't pay a premium for a doctor who spent her studies with that attitude? Who wouldn't be incensed to live more passionately with that kind of partner?

People come to New York City to chase dreams. My friends are doing just that. What am I doing? I can't be the only one to drag his feet. Their lives call out to me. What can I do but chase my dreams? I'm done with waiting. I'm done with being safe, sensible, taken care of and comfortable. Each blog post I've ever written was intended to be a slap across my own face -- an attempt to wake from the parent-induced stupor of comfort and safety. There's no safety. There never was security. Embrace the free-fall and learn to fly. Waiting is certain disaster.

I'm done waiting.

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