Showing posts with label value. Show all posts
Showing posts with label value. Show all posts

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Chasing, Catching, Growing, Grazing



Seth Grodin's blog opened up a wellspring of ideas for me. I'm immensely interested in each new post that he puts up and all the insight within. Recently, I tweeted a question: Are you a farmer or a hunter? It was a question inspired by this post.

Like all my tweeted questions, I get very few responses. One of my friends responded by saying "Of course, you and I are hunters!" It's not that I disagree, it's that I question the particular tone of the post. Are hunters just better than farmers?

A certain mystique and romanticism envelops the hunter. He's a rugged loner, living out in the wild, battling nature, surviving with his ingenuity and ability, he doesn't need community, he doesn't need help. Self-sufficient, stoic and strong, this is the hunter. He eats what he kills and kills what he eats. This isn't a salad eating city-slicker or a corn-bred hayseed, this is a man as pure as God had ever made him.

Or so you might believe if you swallow the "Wild At Heart" type of Christian anthropology. I did not drink that Kool-Aid (or coffee, black, and ground with gunpowder).

For a long time now, I've looked at that strain of thought as childish, immature, poorly conceived because it's poorly informed, overly romantic and sentimental. Hollywood does not work in real life. The only kind of hunting that most of these braggadocio-poisoned types have ever done is hunt for a nature-y DVD to watch on family night. As someone who's done a multi-day hike in the mountains, extremely pampered by tour groups, I can just barely glimpse what a true ancient hunter's life would be like. Hollywood does not show insects nesting inside your rectum, the stench of exertion without bathing, the fear that accompanies every sip of open water for who knows what bear just shat in it or what underground mineral may be in it. Hollywood makes the hours and days of waiting pass by in a clean and composed 15 second montage followed by a frenzied, shaking-camera action scene. Being a hunter is not glamorous. It is what it is.

More than that, consider the fact that the hunter represents such a minuscule portion of man's potential, while the farmer represents a good deal more. Let me break away from speaking of hunters and farmers specifically and use them instead as archetypes. Consider the soldier, representing the hunter archetype and the scientist, representing the farmer archetype. And actually when I say soldier, I mean to include fire fighters, patrolmen, soldiers and other romantic figures. There's a long, long history of how lauded these action hero roles are. There are chanson du'gestes about gallant knights rescuing princesses from sorcerers, dragons and of course, Muslim heathens ululating and waving menacing scimitars, but where is the song of the wise diplomat who negotiated a mutually beneficial arrangement and averted war? Or how about an intelligent inventor who created a security system so that the princess wasn't kidnapped in the first place? How many lives does a firefighter save over the course of his career? Quite a number, I imagine. Perhaps it's the amazing physique or the risk to his life but why is he lauded as a hero while the quiet kid in the back who majors in chemistry and figures out a protein sequence that helps to end a pandemic, why does he receive derision?

Don't get me wrong. I'm not demeaning soldiers, hunters and rescue workers in any way. Without them, we would be in chains, starving and dying. They deserve praise. I am writing to ask why it is that farmer types don't get the respect that they deserve, when they are doing so very much more.

A Christian example. The people in my life who understand what a pastor does and who I am have never suggested that I go into ministry and pastor a church. The people in my life whose opinions I use to clean myself in the toilet, they are the ones who suggest that I be a pastor. And by pastor, it's a very specific view of pastor. It's not, as the word suggests, the care of a flock. It's public speaking, at a pulpit, and it's shiny, the target of much praise, some criticism and a proof of much piety. I have had many friends who see that the highest aim and aspiration of the Christian is to be an evangelist who speaks and millions are held rapt (by who? The Holy Spirit or the speaker?), one who asks you to make a decision, and God-damn-it, you are going to make that decision. A joke results in 30,000 peals of laughter, or 60,000 if you're preaching at Yankee Stadium like Billy Graham or the Pope, or 100,000 if you're in South Korea or Nigeria.

But what about the small time pastor who takes the word seriously and finds that his goal is to shepherd, guide, disciple, teach? I've heard a missionary from French Africa describe the state of Christianity in Africa as a mile wide and an inch deep. There are many professing folk, but what do they profess? A prosperity Gospel. Jesus came, suffered and died on the cross, and in 3 days was raised from the dead to make me wealthy and healthy, to give me a good husband and fine young children. There's the Lord's Resistance Army in Uganda which uses children as instruments of terror and war. There were Christian soldiers raping Muslim women in the Balkans, committing genocide against the heathen. Colonialism. Imperialism. Salem. Jerusalem. This will ruffle feathers but why do so many count the salvation of one soul as more valuable than the progress of a million, a thousand, a hundred or ten souls? Is it really better work to save one soul than to teach Joe, a recent convert, to stop beating his wife, and to love her gently, to repent, to seek forgiveness and to undo the patterns of sin that he's lived in all his life?

Preaching, oftentimes, is so deeply focused on the hunt-like moment of the Decision. Discipleship rarely ever happens in a moment. Long, patient sowing of seed, cultivation of spirit and deep, deep prayer.

The reason I'm thinking about it this morning is because in my heart, though I fall into the hunter category, there are certainly a ton of things that I'm trying to learn from farmers. My discipline, to be honest, is rather poor. I wish I had their steady commitment and ability to work patiently on tedious tasks for a long period of time. I don't like rehabbing. It feels like a cowardly, false workout. I'm not moving fast, I'm not breathing hard. I want to run! But I know I'll only worsen the situation by doing so. I envy the farmers for being able to analyze the data so much better than I.

So I write in appreciation of all that they contribute to society.

Finally, I'd like to tell you about Norman Borlaug. Uncommon name? He's saved, according to some sources, ten times more people than the total number of deaths in World War 2. The awards section on his Wikipedia page is longer than most articles on war heroes, but despite that you'd be hard-pressed to get a ping on his name from those outside of the hard sciences. The work that he did was so mind-numbingly boring that he said he almost went insane from it. Going back to something I said earlier regarding human potential. How many people could a hunter provide for? Maybe 10? Maybe 20 if he's really good. With dedication, patience and hard work, someone that most hunters might have picked on preserved the lives of over a billion people.

Friday, August 28, 2009

A Null Singularity II - Value

Would you like to win the lottery? That seems like an absurd question to ask doesn’t it? It’s FREE MONEY. There’s no way for this to be a bad thing. If you lose it all, at worst, you are no worse off than when you first started. Say that to the 8 people in this old article that I dug up.

You want a million dollars? Ten million? Ask yourself this question, first. Do you even deserve it? Why would you want something you did not earn?

Now, not all people squander their lottery winnings. Who are the ones that do? It tends to be the ones with poor financial acumen. Surprising? It shouldn’t be. If they didn’t understand money, if they didn’t have some intuitive grasp on how wealth is accumulated or how wealth is lost then they could never keep it.

So, why then I wonder is God’s grace so different? I’m thankful for it certainly, this pardon that I’ve received freely, which cost God so much, but I can’t help thinking that because I did not earn it, it can never be fully mine. Everything meaningful it seems, is meaningful because it is earned.

The love of another, the love between two mates, this I firmly believe, should be earned. Their mutual choice should arise out of their soul’s response to virtues. I choose you, beloved, because in you I see what I value. And in response, the lover should be likewise chosen, because of values. By values, I don’t mean beliefs or political stances. It could be as simple as a nice, round butt or firm breasts, bulging biceps or a powerful chest. Value could be wealth, could be education, it could be because this person will continue to supply me with drugs for a few weeks. And yes, of course, value could be things that are truly valuable as well, kindness, compassion, integrity, confidence. Anything could be a value… so long as you value it. Attraction, love, isn’t this, the commodity so highly valued by songs, Hollywood, magazine columns, ultimately traded value for value and not given freely?

What is acquired for little cannot be esteemed for much, no? Think for a moment of what life must be like for beautiful women as they are endlessly harassed by comments from men all day long. “Hey, shawty, looking FINE today!” “Hey beautiful, I just wanna talk to you for a minute!” Or at the bar, how many suits would approach offering to buy a drink, the number of doors held open for a smile, the number of winks from strangers. Is there a beautiful woman to whom any of these comments is valuable? She must know that the mouth that said it to her will just as easily say it to the next female in 5 or 10 minutes. The offer to buy a drink will just move on to the next woman if she says ‘no’. Those comments and advances given so freely mean so little.
I believe it was at a VBS class where this happened. “God sent his only son Jesus to die on a cross so that you could be saved. Do you know how much the Father loved Jesus?” “Well, it couldn’t have been very much if he died for me.” Now the right answer is actually, the Trinity lives in perfect love and harmony so this was the most painful act in history which is a testament to the love that God has for his creation, but the sarcastic answer lingers still in my mind. If it is indeed a free gift, how can it be worthwhile?

Now, I confess freely that gifts are not my love language in any which way. Things that other people give me don’t mean much to me unless they’re useful; a shirt I can wear, a knife I can cut with, a pan I can cook with. And even then it’s only meaningful to me because it’s useful. I try to comprehend how a gift can be meaningful apart from its function but the grasping of such a concept remains outside of my ability. If I can’t use it, why would it be meaningful?

And more than that, as the case of the lottery winners show, if you come into possession of something you could never acquire by your own virtue, you will most likely lose it by that same lack of virtue. In that way, what is this grace, this Christian grace? Something I’ve been given, that I could never earn, and told that I could never lose, because I never earned it. And moreover, what will that end result, that far-off “Heaven” be like? For me, I want to cross the finish line at Kona because I feel that would be the ultimate reward for sacrifice, for waking up at 5 am, for pushing my body, my spirit further than was ever comfortable. I want my reward to be a result of my effort. I don’t want it to be handed out so easily.

Upon reflection, I am incredibly thankful for grace, for a “relationship with God” as the catchphrase goes. But at the same time, I’m also deeply disturbed that it even exists as well, and that it exists apart from my own power to will or do otherwise.